Local Dad Makes Risky Investment, Bets Junior's Future on Mint Condition Mookie Betts

Riverside, CA - In a move that has financial advisors clutching their pearls, local father of two, Philbert "Fil"bert (43), has emptied his children's college savings account to pursue a childhood dream - owning a complete set of 1987 Topps baseball cards.

Filbert, a self-proclaimed "card connoisseur" (despite his basement collection being primarily fueled by nostalgia and questionable eBay deals), reportedly liquidated the college fund after a heated bidding war on eBay for a pristine rookie card of baseball legend Mookie Betts.

"Look, junior's got good grades, he can probably get a scholarship somewhere," Filbert reassured his wife, Mildred, through a mouthful of Funyuns. "Besides, have you seen the value of these things? This Betts card is practically a goldmine!"

Mildred, a staunch advocate for higher education and a functioning retirement plan, was less than enthused. "A goldmine, Phil? Or a cardboard time capsule hurtling towards oblivion? You couldn't tell a PSA 10 from a pack of gum wrappers!"

Undeterred, Filbert believes his investment will pay off handsomely. "These cards are like fine wine, Mildred. They only go up in value! By the time Junior's ready for college, he'll be swimming in a vault of vintage cardboard!"

Financial experts, however, are advising caution. "The sports card market is a fickle beast," warned Mildred's skeptical brother, Barry, a man whose knowledge of baseball memorabilia extends as far as the plastic shrink-wrap on a pack of unopened Pokemon cards. "One bad season for your star player and that 'goldmine' could turn into a discount bargain bin at the next garage sale."

Filbert, however, remains optimistic. "Look, at the end of the day, it's about more than just the money," he insisted, brandishing a worn copy of Beckett's Baseball Card Monthly. "It's about reliving my youth, the thrill of the hunt, and... uh... the impeccable taste in bubblegum?"

As for Junior (10) and his younger sister, Tiffany (8), their reactions were more muted. "So, college is off the table?" Junior inquired, eyes glued to his Fortnite screen.

Tiffany, ever the pragmatist, simply shrugged. "At least we'll have some cool baseball cards to decorate our dorm room with, right?"

 We will soon find out.