The Short Print

      Welcome to the year 2050, where sports card collecting has finally achieved the levels of insanity no one could have predicted, except, of course, for those of us who knew the hobby would eventually turn into a sci-fi fever dream. Gone are the days of cardboard and paper stock. In the future, no true collector is satisfied unless their cards are holographic, implanted with AI, and capable of having full conversations with their owners. And why settle for static images of athletes when you can own a card that emotionally bonds with you and critiques your fantasy league choices in real time? The Rise of “Living” Sports Cards It started innocently enough. First, there were the 3D lenticular cards in the 2020s. Then came the animated NFT cards, which led to the inevitable: fully sentient, interactive hologram cards. Panini's latest release, the "Eternal Rookie Series," allows you to talk directly to a holographic version of your favorite athlete, who responds with pre-...

  In a shocking turn of events, the grading giant PSA (Professional Sports Authenticator) has declared its dominance over the sports card grading universe by acquiring every other grading company in existence. With this audacious move, PSA now stands as the sole arbiter of all things that need a numerical rating, leaving collectors, hobbyists, and even Grandma's secret cookie recipes in the hands of the almighty PSA overlords. PSA CEO, Sir Grader Supreme, proudly declared, "Why stop at sports cards when there's a whole world of ungraded items out there? We're expanding our expertise to rate the authenticity, quality, and sentimental value of anything you hold dear – and even things you never thought needed a grade!" The announcement sent shockwaves through the hobby, with collectors scrambling to send in their childhood drawings, high school yearbooks, and even pet rocks for PSA appraisal. Rumors suggest that PSA is developing a new category for grading the nostal...